I’m a Failure and I’m Damn Good at It!
Hi, I’m Teddy Carroll, and I’m a failure.
I’m pretty good at it, because I’ve had a lot of practice. I’ve had a lot of practice, because I started young. When I was five, I wanted to be an astronaut. My heroes were the crews of the Apollo missions, which gave 12 men a chance to walk on the moon and provide the world with numerous scientific discoveries and breakthroughs. I failed to become an astronaut.
Other young failures included not becoming a fireman, not becoming a pro football player, and not becoming an astronomer. There was also a very painful failure to get a date with Farrah Fawcett, but I had the poster!
As I got older, the failures mounted. I failed to become a novelist, I failed to become a rockstar, and I failed to become a Hollywood filmmaker.
As the failures mounted, they also became more consequential. My first marriage failed, and the succeeding years saw me losing at least a half dozen jobs. I’ve even failed several crucial parenting moments.
And I continue to fail. As an agile coach, none of the organizations I’ve coached have continued with the advice I gave or the discoveries we made while I coached them, even the places where the results of my time there were objectively successful.
You may have noticed some frivolous examples of failure here. I mean how many dreamy little boys in the early 70s actually became astronauts? So, yeah, I’m having a little fun, but the real point here is that failure is common, even more common than success.
Defining Failure
Let me pause a second and define how I’m using the word failure. For my purposes, failure is any time results don’t match wishes, intentions or expectations, which is pretty close to the dictionary definition.
Even my childhood heroes, the men and women of the Apollo Program weren’t free from failure. The first Apollo mission ended before it started with the deaths of astronauts Gus Grissom, Ed White, and Roger Chaffee in a fire while they were performing launch sequence tests.
Other Successful Failures
You know who else is a failure?
NFL quarterback, Tom Brady - Most career incompletions: 4,297
MLB outfielder, Reggie Jackson - Most career strikeouts: 2,597
NBA shooting guard, Kobe Bryant - Most career missed shots: 14,481
Again, a little humor, because, obviously, none of those incredible athletes were failures. They do, however, hold the records for failing at the very things they were paid to do.
Even Steve Jobs, a founder of Apple, arguably the most successful company of the last 30 years, was fired … from Apple!
Failure is everywhere, even for the most successful people and businesses in the world.
What Are We Afraid Of?
If failure is so common, then what are we so afraid of? The short answer is easy: no one likes to fail. That’s just basic psychology. Winning feels better than losing.
The long answer is a lot more complicated, especially when we factor in the truth that not starting something is a guaranteed way to fail at it.
“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
~NHL legend, Wayne Gretzky
Another reason we’re afraid of failure is that it has a price, sometimes emotional, sometimes financial, sometimes both … always ego.
In business, failure could cost you your job, investors, and market share. Ever work somewhere that was more concerned about not failing than it was about succeeding? How well did they do with that mindset? And how did that feel?
Leaders Teach How to Deal with Failure
As a leader, your first job should be to get comfortable with failure, both your own and your organization’s. Part of that comfort means creating a culture where failure is anticipated, expected, and sometimes even welcomed.
One of the best ways to do that is to create a culture of experimentation and fast failure, where work occurs in small batches and failures are less consequential. In a culture like this, learning is the primary goal. Questions transform from “How do we not fail?” to “What’s the next thing we can do to learn more about our product, our customers, our organization?”
Missed shot leader, Kobe Bryant, was coached by Phil Jackson, whose entire coaching career was defined by his willingness to experiment and take chances. How much of that do you think rubbed off on Kobe and his teammates on their way to five NBA championships?
When your teams stop playing not to lose, they start to become more curious, more adventurous, and, yes, more successful.
“Freedom from fear requires feeling safe. If you feel safe, you run experiments. You stop asking permission. You avoid long, mind-numbing meetings. You create a new kind of culture in which you accept that mistakes are inevitable. You learn that small, fast mistakes are preferable to the big, slow, deadly mistakes you are making today.”
~Richard Sheridan, founder of Menlo Innovations and author of Joy, Inc.
That’s Richard’s definition of psychological safety, and I like it. I like it because it doesn’t require a psychology degree to understand. It’s true and intuitive. It’s wise and it’s bold. It’s your job as a leader, even if you are only a leader of one … you.
What Will Be Your Next Failure?
As I said earlier, I’m Teddy Carroll, and I’m a failure. I live in a nice home in the suburbs. I’ve been married (second time) for 24 years. I have three amazing children. I’m an agile coach that is building a reputation for quality and success. And I still look at the stars every night with wonder and awe.
I have failed more times than I’ve succeeded.
My guess is that you have too. What will you fail at next?
