3 Agile Ways to Make Silence Golden
“Silence is golden” is a well-known and well-worn proverb. It’s also probably very old. Some believe it originated in ancient Egypt. It first showed up in English nearly 200 years ago. For a phrase to stick around that long, there must be some truth to it.
As an agile coach, scrum master, or facilitator, silence can be one of the most powerful tools in your toolbox. That may seem counterintuitive given the necessary focus on collaboration in agile ways of working, but here are three ways to use silence to improve communication.
Silent Writing/Reflection
A primary responsibility for coaches and facilitators is to help groups have productive conversations that result in actionable plans. These conversations work best when facilitators employ the principle of Deep Democracy, where all voices are given the opportunity to be heard. Deep Democracy is difficult to achieve with unbalanced conversation.
And speaking of unbalanced conversation, if you’ve spent any amount of time trying to enable collaborative conversations, then you know these two truths:
Not everyone participates
A few voices often dominate
One way to get around these behaviors is to begin every conversation or activity with a few minutes of silent writing or reflection.
Working in silence lets those who are more reflective or reluctant to speak up in a group setting to gather their thoughts without interruption from those who are happier thinking out loud.
If you’re using sticky notes to capture ideas simply ask the group to write their individual stickies in silence.
If it’s more of a Socratic conversation you’re after, ask the group to silently consider the prompt or proposal you’ve put in front of them.
You can then proceed with your planned activity, which will now have the benefit of having contributions from everyone. You may still need to work hard to get everyone to talk and to keep the strong voices from taking over, but you’ve already succeeded in getting everyone involved.
Why Am I Talking? (WAIT)
This is one of my favorite acronyms, and I honestly don’t know of a situation where it doesn’t come in handy. As a coach or facilitator we often run the risk of talking too much. The WAIT principle can help prevent that.
Coaches and facilitators need to master the metaskill of fading, where after initiating a conversation, they fade into the background and let the group continue on their own. They may need to interject from time to time to keep the conversation on topic, but they aren’t active participants.
Asking yourself “Why am I talking?” can help you better understand your impulse to speak and let you know whether it’s a good idea.
Silence at the proper season is wisdom, and better than any speech.
~Plutarch
WAIT is also an excellent tool on which to coach others, especially those who have a tendency to take over conversations. If you notice that a member of your group consistently dominates conversations, a little one on one coaching can help reduce that often counterproductive behavior.
It can even be used in creating working agreements within the group, so that everyone can be more thoughtful in the way they participate in conversations.
To be clear, WAIT isn’t about censoring and preventing people from speaking their mind. It’s about a more mindful approach to group conversations that may result in more fruitful and collaborative outcomes.
The 10-Second Rule
No, this rule isn’t about the etiquette of eating food that has fallen on the ground. It’s about creating space and inviting others to speak. It can even be used to let calmer heads prevail when conversations turn toward anger or frustration.
The 10-Second Rule simply states that before you respond wait ten seconds. That’s all there is to it.
As a facilitator, if you ask a question and there are no immediate responses, wait ten seconds. The only requirement is that you get comfortable with silence. Not everyone can. That’s why you remain silent. Someone other than you will eventually speak up, even if you have to wait longer than ten seconds.
And that’s the whole point: someone other than you will be speaking.
If you’re engaged in a conversation and someone says something that adds heat, wait ten seconds. Productive communication can cease when emotion is answered with emotion. Holding your response enables you to be more intentional and thoughtful in your response and not contribute to a downward spiral of negative emotions.
It may also create the added benefit of calming down others in the conversation. Silence can be a disarming response to emotion-filled language.
None of these tips are magical and won’t guarantee successful communication, but if you practice them yourself and coach them with your teams you will soon see results.
